Evidently, Microsoft got the message that the Jerry Seinfeld ads weren’t working. (Hard to tell if you’ve arrived if you have no idea where you’re going.) That’s the good news.

The bad news is that Mickeysoft has decided that a one-to-one face-off with Apple would be a good idea.

Sweet Mother of Perpetual Illogical, who in the HELL thought THIS was a good idea?

The Apple ads are clever, funny, and reinforce a core truth – Macs are easy, PCs are hard. They humanized what are basically machines, and gave them personalities. Sadly for Microsoft, the PC’s personality is is officious, petty, and annoying. Much like my PC, which is why those spots work. They resonate. Think about telling a joke – any joke can be funny, but to really reach an audience, the joke and the audience have to connect on some level – and it’s usually that the joke triggers something familiar…an experience, a memory, a feeling. The Apple ads do all that and do it well. There’s an inner truth to what Apple is saying. No matter if you’re an Apple user, a PC user, or you use both, you can relate to what they’re saying.

Now let’s look at the NEW ad from the Boys of Redmond.

“I’m a PC,” states some hapless Microsoft minion, who happens to bear a striking resemblance to John Hodgman (the guy who plays “PC” in the Mac spots). This is followed by dozens of other people proclaiming they they to are “PC.” The cumulative effect is “We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. Join the collective.” There’s nothing fun about this spot. Nothing inspired. Nothing that would make me want to buy a PC, nor convince me to switch platforms. These people look either like uniformed, clueless lemmings, or Stepford Users, willing to do their master’s bidding. (Except for the bit with Tony Parker and Eva Longoria. She looks hot. Clueless…but hot.)

The ad tries to get us excited about being part of the collective. Evidently, they’re going to be pushing “connectivity.” As a victim of the Microsoft Mobile user experience (ActiveSync is truly a one-word double contradiction in terms – it’s neither ‘active’ nor does it ‘sync’), I can’t believe these clowns are trying to convince anyone that they should be trusted to bring connectivity to the masses.

With apologies to the ASPCA for beating this dead horse just one more time, here’s what the ad SHOULD say:

Hi. I’m Steve Balmer, CEO of Microsoft.

And I’m Bill Gates, CEO-emeritus of Microsoft.

We’d like to apologize for the problems many of you are having with Vista. Operating systems are complex things, and we realize now that we let that one out of the lab too soon.

We’ve committed every resource within Microsoft to fixing what’s wrong with Vista, and we’re releasing updates just as quickly as is prudent, in order to fix those problems. In the meantime, we’re not asking you to believe us, or trust us. We know we’ve broken that unspoken bond of trust with you, our customers. All we ask for is the opportunity to make things right.

In the coming weeks, we welcome your comments, and we promise we’re listening. We’ve set up a special address, in order to receive those comments, suggestions, and complains. We’re committed to resolving them, and rebuilding your trust in us.

And we pledge that all our other new projects and applications will not be released until we fix what’s wrong with Vista, and earn back your trust.

Thanks for listening.

Run that ad, and I’ll sit up and take notice. Run more crap like the ad above, and I’ll sit on my hands and watch as Apple goes from niche player to take away your market share, user by user.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 19th, 2008 at 5:00 pm and is filed under marketing, media.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.