Cars have been much on my mind for the last few days, much like in the halls of Congress and across our great land. (For my take on what ails Detroit, please visit www.captaindigital.net and read today’s post, Motor City Madness.) But from a marketing perspective, this epic battle between Detroit’s finest and the lame duck Congress is…interesting.

What we’ve got here (with apologies to Strother Martin) is a failure to communicate…the truth.

And it’s that failure – and the framing/spin/mendacity that’s going on that is so bloody fascinating. To wit…

Detroit would have us believe that if we don’t hand them our wallets, It Will Be The End of America As We Know It.™ They insist that only an immediate cash infusion will stay the wolves from the door, save the farm, and give Tiny Tim that operation he so desperately needs. Of course, they also insist that said bailout come with no strings attached. After all, THEY are the Captains of Industry, and THEY have no intention of abandoning the helm in this Time Of Crisis.™

Problem is, they are are (collectively) to piloting their companies through these treacherous economic shoals what Joseph Hazelwood was to the Exxon Valdez.

“Um…Captain? Wake up…we seem to have hit something.”

“What’d we hit?”

“Um…Alaska.”

Do you really want to write a blank check to the auto industry and give it to the same clowns that ran the industry aground? I didn’t think so.

Any reasonable person would see that this is a bad idea. You know it. I know it. Congress knows it. The auto execs know it. So what’s a poor, overpaid, clueless auto company exec to do?

Marketing…to the RESCUE!

The chairman of the Big Three (and their minions) swept into Washington this week, with stories of gloom and doom. Their leitmotif was that they MUST have the money before Thanksgiving, or Disaster is Certain. Workers (read: VOTERS) will Lose Their Jobs! The Domino Effect will lay waste to the American Economy! A Worldwide Great Depression will follow! We will never recover! Millions of Jobs will be Lost Forever!

In a performance worthy of Professor Marvel, the Big Three honchos worked the crowd like a carnival huckster preying on a bunch of Kansas farmhands.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

But we must pay attention. First it was SecTreas Paulson, selling us a bill of goods about the finance system. “We need $700 Billion NOW, to avoid another Great Depression! Don’t bother with the details! Trust me! We’ll buy up all the bad loans!” Of course, now we find out that it was bait and switch – no bad loans need apply. Nobody knows how the $700 Billion is being spent. But the Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt tango worked. Next came the rest of the (mis)management supplicants, wailing and gnashing their sharp teeth, looking for a handout. But now, cynicism has set in, and it’s getting harder to stir the populace into a froth worthy of your neighborhood Starbucks.

So they cut a commercial.

The car execs have to do SOMEthing. (That is, something OTHER than actually address the problems at hand. Actually FIXing things would require bold moves like taking their companies through bankruptcy, jettisoning bloated union contracts, unsustainable health care plans, exorbitant pension funds, then cutting product lines, brands, and bloated dealer networks. That is something they WON’T do.)

The dirty little secret here is that the Big Three are behaving like your junkie nephew that got thrown out of his parent’s place for stealing. He’s come to you, because he thinks you’ll take pity on him, and not force him into rehab.

To put it another way, how’d you like to buy a new car? Not in the market for one today? Okay, how’d you like to pay for a new car – but not get to drive it? THAT sounds better, doesn’t it? Essentially, a taxpayer-funded bailout is just that. We’d pay Detroit to build cars, but we wouldn’t get to drive them. Even if you do go out and buy one, it would be like paying for it TWICE. Now THAT’S marketing!

And there’s the problem. The only thing that throwing money at the problem will do is to delay the inevitable. But the automobile execs are so unwilling to make the hard choices, they simply will not acknowledge reality. Call this bunch of Detroit Pharaohs the “Kings of Denial,” for they have had ample chances to do the right thing, yet they persist in the fantasy that more money will do the trick.

I’m a big believer in marketing. I believe that marketing has the power to change hearts and minds. But marketing cannot change reality. And the reality here is that, no matter how much – or how little – money we throw at this problem, it won’t matter. In the greater scheme of things, money is not the problem. Bad management, bloated contracts, oversupply and under-demand are. It’s time to step aside and let market forces and our bankruptcy laws deliver a little tough love, and force the healing process to begin.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 at 9:30 am and is filed under Random Stuff.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.