...because, she'll pretty much have to.

As I sit here this morning at the grokmedia World Headquarters, listening to Glenn Beck on the radio, I’m annoyed by another airing of a commercial for a local jewelry store. I’m annoyed because their spot is, in point of fact, evil. I don’t mean they’re advocating Satanism, mass murder, or believing what the Administration tells us without question (that would be Evil, criminally Evil, and naieve, respectively). No, this spot is evil with a lowercase “e,” but in a way, that makes it all the more unsettling. Allow me to explain.

Let me first say that Barnes Jewelry is a local institution here in Amarillo. Everywhere you go in the USA, you’ll find local companies that are the de facto category leaders, the ones that are the default choices for the landed gentry, the movers and shakers, and the powers that be. Barnes Jewelry falls squarely in that category. Unlike everywhere else in the USA, Amarillo has a particularly provincial habit of favoring the local talent over a national retailer, even if the national retailer has a screamingly wonderful product, and there’s room for more than one vendor in a given category. (I’m STILL steamed that I live in a burg that is the only place on the face of God’s Green Earth that lost a Krispie Kreme donut shop, because the locals chose to ignore it, and support the local choice, the Donut Stop.)

Now to the radio spot in question. The Barnes folks are devotees of a guy out of Buda, Texas (Roy H. Williams) who calls himself the “Wizard of Ads.” Willams has a brilliant marketing shtick. He’s written a series of books (I believe they are published by his own publishing company) that purport to give the average guy on the street the “secrets” of marketing. The books are cleverly-written, and leave the reader with a thirst for more information. Lucky for the reader, Williams is ready to help, with a series of pricey seminars, taught in the Hill Country of Texas, teaching people how to market themselves, in-house.

I’m not sure if this radio spot is a result of the Wizard of Ads training, but I suspect it is. What’s so bad about the ad? It’s actually a fairly well-produced ad, voiced by one of the owners, himself. In a conversational tone, he casually identifies a potential problem in marriages – the “fact” that, over time, what once seemed like a respectably-sized diamond in your wife’s engagement ring has started to look small, puny, and Just Not Big Enough.

Now THAT’S evil.

Forget for a moment that diamonds are essentially worth money only because their supply is controlled by a cartel that has effectively squelched supply in order to drive up demand (OPEC’s got nuthin’ on these guys). Forget for a moment that people buy diamonds because of a huge, multi-year marketing campaign that has convinced the public that a diamond ring is an essential, traditional part of every marriage – and the size of the diamond is inexorably tied to a husband’s financial worth, and is furthermore an outward and visible sign of a husband’s inward and invisible love of his spouse. That’s bad enough. But now, Barnes suggests that it’s not enough to continue to shell out money on over-priced, compressed carbon, but that in order to reaffirm your love for your wife, you need to trade in that engagement stone for a bigger one – or you’re just not showing your love.

The spot is brilliant, in its own, evil way, insidiously implying to men that they are risking divorce if they don’t keep pumping up the volume on the carat count, and to women, that if their husbands REALLY loved them, they’d receive a bigger stone for their engagement ring.

That’s not marketing. That’s sick.

Now I don’t quibble with Barnes Jewelry’s right advertise whatever they want. And I’m not insisting that diamonds are a waste of money (in my opinion, they are, but you have a right to sell whatever you like, just as customers have a right to be slaves to marketing). But I draw the line at companies that attempt to sow the seeds of discord in marriages, just to make a buck. (For the record, I feel the same way about the idea of a company – AshleyMadison.com – that exists as a facilitator for spouses with a roving eye to have discreet affairs.)

As the market leader in Amarillo, I think Barnes Jewelry has a noblesse oblige to act accordingly. Price your merchandise higher than the competition? Cool. Cater to the silk stocking trade? No problem. But try to convince wives that their diamonds are somehow inadequate, and husbands that they are just not showing their wives the proper adoration without an engagement ring update – and you’ve crossed the line. Market all you want, but let’s leave the evil marketing to the government – the real experts.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 at 8:11 am and is filed under advertising, marketing.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.