Since this is a marketing blog (and I’d like to get back to enjoying my “special day” [insert ironic pause here]), I’ll simply remark that I find that the leaders in one-to-one marketing seem to be…online forums?

Yep. That’s right. Online forums. When you sign up for one of these online forums, they routinely ask for your birthdate. The software then obligingly kicks out a “happy birthday” email automagically. Nice. It’s a great way for the board to remind you that they exist, and a nice thing for the recipient, even if you know it’s not the thought, but the programming that counts.

Honorable mention in the birthday email sweepstakes: Jack in the Box. I received a “personal” email from Jack Box today, along with a coupon for a free desert. Way to extend your brand – and your tongue-in-cheek marketing attitude to Jack-lovers around the country. Nice job, Jack!

Other inventions or innovations are a lot more obvious. You can instantly understand how they will change everything. Today, I learned about one such innovation, and lemme tell you, it’s Katie bar the door time in Telecommunications Land. I speak of the imminent release of Google Voice.

Google. The company that is “this decade’s Microsoft” much like “green” is the new “black” (or more aptly, the new “red” – but I digress). Google is a bloody force of nature in the tech world. Seemingly, there are no markets, no challenges, and certainly no technologies they cannot conquer. You thought their forays into telephony would be limited to the Android O/S and phones? Think again, bunkie. Google Voice is a game-changer in the same vein as Alexander Graham Bell eclipsed two tin cans and a piece of string.

What is Google Voice? It’s a complete re-think of how we use telecommunications, that’s what. And it’s gonna mark a tectonic shift in the markets for land lines, cell phone services, and will effectively free customers from the chains of telephony companies for all time. Sound like it’s too good to be true? Read on, McDuff, and cursed be he that puts you on “Hold”…

First of all, Google Voice will let you pick out a number that will become, forever and for always “your number.” All of your other phones – work, home, cell, you name it – will be able to answer that number – and you’ll have complete control over how it works.

Google Voice will replace your voicemail with a single message service that will allow you to do things you used to be able to do with a mechanical voice messaging machine (remember those?), i.e.: monitor your incoming calls as they come in, and decide if you want to take the call. Even better, your incoming voice message can be customized for each (and if you like, every) person in your contact list. Here’s a biggie: you can actually block specific callers, who’ll get the “We’re sorry…this number is no longer in service” message. (Tell me you haven’t wished for THAT feature once or twice.) And, of course, you’ll also be able to retrieve your messages from any of your phones – or even from the web. Oh, and get your voice messages transcribed automatically, to text. Did I mention that all this is FREE?

There’s more. Go here to see the feature list. I’ll wait.

You back? Good. Okay, now put on your marketing point-of-view goggles, and think about what this is gonna do to the telecommunications landscape. First of all, you’ll never again have to care about a land line or cell number portability. Wanna change carriers – go ahead. Your clients/friends/family will be calling your Google number. Tired of paying out the wazzoo for extras like caller ID, call forwarding, call blocking, et cetera? They’re free with Google Voice. Oh, and all calls within the U.S. are FREE, so forget about paying for long distance ever again. Paying extra fees for landline voicemail? Fergeddaboutit. Tired of telemarketers calling? Block ‘em. Wish you could transfer a call from your cell phone as it starts to run out of juice, to your land line? You got it.

See what I mean? The features they’ve packed into this service are huge. The idea that they’re gonna give them away for free is a game changer, period.

I’d hate to be some AT&T VP in charge of land line service right now. Between getting beaten up on price by Vonage and Via-Talk on one side, the Cable bundle deals on another and now Google on a third, it’s gotta be getting pretty hot in that particular seat.

Now stop and think: what’s Google’s typical “second act,” in every other market they’ve penetrated? That’s right. Mash-ups and third-party add-ons. Imagine a virtual call center made up of hundreds of Google Voice numbers. You see where I”m going with this…if phone equipment and software guys thought the commercial markets were safe, guess again. My guess is that it won’t take more than 18 months for Google to go after commercial voice traffic and call centers. When that happens, you’ll watch call center companies dropping like flies.

Where does this all lead? I dunno. But as far as I can see, it means power to the consumer, one more notch in Google’s belt, and a fervent hope that Google continues to be a corporation that wants to “do good,” and not morph into some kind of online Dr. Evil, bent on world domination. Of course, if you can dominate the world by giving everything away for free, who needs to be evil?

I remember when I received my first piece of spam. 

I was incensed. Outraged. And I protested – to the sender, to my ISP, to the company that sent the mail – to everybody I could think of. And of course it dies absolutely no good. Because, believe it or not, spam actually works. Sort of. It’s a numbers game. Send out a million pieces of unsolicited crap, and some idiot, somewhere will respond. Since it cost you all of about a buck ninety-five to send it, get a couple of dozen people to respond, and you’re makin’ some real money. Who cares that you have essentially killed a valuable tool for communications and marketing.

Of course, spam begat spam filters. Which kinda sorta worked, in the same way that locking a door just made criminals more determined. Every time you buy a better lock, the crooks keep advancing their knowledge of lock picking, and the cycle starts anew. 

Lately, I’ve discovered that my biggest problem in dealing with spam was…Microsoft Exchange Server. (Who would have thought that Microsoft would make a piece of software that would cause me problems?) It seems that Microsoft does little to help out on the spam problem – that’s an add-on. And nobody (apparently) makes one that can keep me from having to devote countless hours, resources, and money to keep the Exchange server running. 

So I ditched it. I discovered that Google offers hosted email. You simply sign up, redirect your MX records to Google, and access your email through the Google server. Oh, and did I mention that the service is FREE, for up to 100 email accounts?

The big deal here is that Google has the best spam filters I’ve found. I get maybe – MAYBE – one or two messages per day that I have to delete myself. By comparison, I get close to 200 pieces of spam in the junk mail box each day. That saves me time – time that I don’t have to spend dealing with it. And the Google folks also do a bang-up job scanning attachments, and preventing email from becoming a superhighway for computer virus attacks. In fact, they screen messages and don’t even allow the ones with suspicious attachments into your mailbox. 

So what’s the net-net for you? First of all, if you’re considering buying some mailing list and mounting a marketing campaign – forget it (Unless, of course, you’re a purveyor of little blue pills, mortgage refinancing, or work as an obscure administration official in Nigeria). Unless you’re using a list of people who actually signed up for and WANT to receive email from you, you’re wasting your time – and theirs. If you have a spam problem, get your IT guys to look into Google hosting your mail. And if you want to find a way to market successfully to your customers, stop trying the “easy way” (like bulk emails) and start thinking about treating them as a valuable asset that you respect, with a relationship you want to nurture.